I've invented nothing -- nothing!!
And I don't even want to talk about the time I invented the diesel engine, though the irony of me learning that I was driving a diesel-powered truck while I was 'inventing' the diesel engine was not lost on me. Not lost on me...that reminds me of a song, so let's add that song to the list. The song is 'Waiting For The Sun' by the almighty Jayhawks. That will be song #211. For song #212, let's go with Lyle Lovett's 'That's Right (you're not from Texas), off his Live From Texas album. And off that same record, let's go with 'If I Had a Boat' for song #213. For song #214, let's go with Todd Rundgren's 'Hello, it's me.' I'll have to write a post about Todd Rundgren sometime. But it won't be today. Oh, and for song #215, how about 'In a Big Country' by Big Country? That's a damn fine song. 'I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in winterti-me.'
That lyric seems kind of timely to me.
And now, finally, the tale of The Moriarty Whisker. As I mentioned a couple of days ago, The Moriarty Whisker is my nemesis. He is, to me, what Dr. Moriarty was to Sherlock Holmes. Only The Moriarty Whisker is not a practicing M.D., nor is he a criminal mastermind. No, The Moriarty Whisker is just that: a whisker. It is a colorless whisker for the most part, though it is capable of turning quite dark in the right light. It can also turn completely invisible, and that's true for a fact. I've seen it go from invisible to visible many, many times.
The Moriarty Whisker is located approximately 3 cm north of the mustache in my goatee. It occupies a lonely territory on my face where no other whisker has dared follow. Since noticing this whisker back in the early part of this century, I've taken steps to make sure it gets shaved each time I shave. However, The Moriarty Whisker is resourceful. Many time when you think you've nicked him, he will appear to ruin your day. For instance, I'll step into the bathroom at a fancy party, glance into the mirror and exclaim, 'Moriarty? It can't be!! I killed you!' I tend to get a lot of strange looks when I leave the bathroom at parties. People always look at me and then look behind me to see who I was talking to. There's no one there, of course. The culprit is always right there, though, hiding in plain sight.
So that's the sad story of The Moriarty Whisker. Though I have not seen him recently, you can bet he will re-emerge. And when he does, I'll be waiting for him, cold razor in hand.
I think I really need to see Sweeney Todd. There are some valuable lessons I might learn from that film.