Thursday, January 17, 2008

I feel I must relate this tale

In addition to my regular job I also help out at a school a couple days a week. It's a business school and it's kind of fun. I haven't explored the building much, but this evening, since I'm still fighting this gosh darn cold, I went off in search of warm beverages. My explorations proved fruitful; I discovered one of those 'you put your money in and then either coffee or hot chocolate comes out, depending upon your choice' machines. For me, it was a no-brainer. I chose 'whipped hot chocolate.' But first I had to try to feed the machine a dollar bill. Approximately 4 out of 5 times with machines like these that's a dealbreaker. Not tonight. And -- bonus! -- after I put my dollar in, the 'exact change' light came on. I was psyched! This never happens to me! I'm always the guy who comes up to the machine right after that light gets lit. I'm NEVER the guy who gets the privilege of being the last person to be able to use folding money to purchase their beverage. No, as I said, I'm always the guy who gleefully approaches the vending machine, snapping a crisp Americano dollar bill, only to find out I need exact change.

So I was truly overjoyed. While my hot chocolate was dispensed, I pictured the next guy coming to the machine and having his hopes completely dashed. 'Take that, f-----!' I thought gleefully. Then I felt kind of bad about that. Then the exact change light went off and I was left with an empty feeling inside and a cup of MOLTEN hot chocolate in my right hand. Yowza! And of course, as it will, karma stepped in and filled the cup to the brim, causing me to dribble way hot chocolate on my fingers with each step I took on the return voyage. It's tough. You try to be a good guy and look where it gets you.

Anyway, as hot chocolate goes, it's only okay. I can almost taste the powder it was made with. It reminded me, though, of a temp job I had here in the Twin Cities back in 1994. I was some kind of data entry guy working for some company. The job itself was just alright. Something less than alright, actually, but it paid the bills. What the job did offer, though, was access to the best 'you put your money in and then either coffee or hot chocolate comes out, depending upon your choice' machine in the world. Man, that was some sa-weet hot chocolate! I'd plan my whole day around that liquid magic.

6:00-10:00 Work
Hot chocolate break
10:15-11:45 Work
Noon: Lunch/hot chocolate break
12:30-2:30 Work
Hot chocolate break
2:45-4:00 Work
4:02: Get hot chocolate to go

I about wore that machine out. And the hot chocolate came in those cups where you get a poker hand (and the hole card is on the bottom of the cup). Talk about win/win! Sometimes it was win/win/win!

Yeah, that was a weird job. And I was working at that job during the bone-dead of winter, so I think that's why I drank all that hot chocolate. Normally, I have boundaries, but that winter, my self-control was out the window. It was ridiculous good stuff. I'd wake up in the morning thinking of hot chocolate.

How sweet is that?


Blogger blackcrag said...

I'm used to the molten hot chocolate vending machines. I developed a cast iron gullet from one in high school. We couldn't take food or drink into our classes, so we had to line up, buy a cup and guzzle it quick, all in under ten minutes. Talk about hot!

6:57 PM  
Blogger Just Dan said...

'Iron Gullet' -- that's got a nice ring to it. You should trademark that!

Having to drink hot chocolate quick is a chancy proposition.

3:31 AM  
Anonymous Dave W said...

I'm going to see Iron Gullet this weekend at First Ave. I like their mix of techno, pop, and slash metal.

6:35 AM  
Blogger Just Dan said...

It's already catching on! Can you say phenomenon?

I can, though it's tricky to spell.

8:42 AM  
Blogger blackcrag said...

It's my British influences rearing their heads again. British relatives, British mystery movies, British comedies... I'm never truly free of it.

10:21 AM  
Blogger Just Dan said...

I like British humour too.

3:51 PM  

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