Tuesday, September 16, 2008

ok, I'm back

Well, enough of that political swill. At least for a day or two, I say. Time to get back to some good old-fashioned nonsense, the stuff I know best. Let's see...so much to cover, so little time...

First, a headline I think I love: Man hit by train in downtown Fargo escapes serious injury, ruins clothes.

"Well, I have some good news, mom, and then some news that's not so good.."

Can you imagine? That guy will be eating lunch off that headline for months -- weeks -- years!! Gosh, I bet his cereal tasted different this morning. That was probably the best bowl of Corn Flakes he ever had!

I remember the best bowl of Corn Flakes I ever had. It was December and snow was falling. Or it was August and I was suffering from a case of dandruff. I'm a little fuzzy on the details. But how about that?! Hit. By. A. Train. You can't make this stuff up.

Otherwise, I'm in a mostly empty room. About 10 minutes ago I crumpled up my sandwich wrapper into a ball. There was a trash can not eight feet away from me. However, between me and this trash can (a low rider, not one of those waist-high jobbers) was a computer desk with a computer monitor sitting on top of it. Frankly, there was no real direct shot I could take. The only thing I could do -- besides actually getting up and walking over to the trash can -- was attempt a miraculous bank shot, off the wall. So I did. I just let it be what it was going to be. I didn't force it. I let it happen. End result? Yeah, put it on the board. That puppy was lost and I gave it a home! The only sad thing was that no one was here to share in the delights of my victory. I can only hope Jesus was watching. I'm pretty sure even He would have been impressed.

Finally, some poems.

Simple Physics
Have you ever
had a literary
giant
step on your toes?
Just one word
for that:
Ouch!!

The Rest of the Story
It's funny how fast
things can go
from good
to bad.
For instance,
at this writer's conference
a few years ago,
I was standing
by a chum and I said
to him,
'Hey, look! Here comes
Norman Mailer!!'
Naturally,
I was pretty excited.
Then,
not 27 seconds later,
I let out a wincing yelp.
"He just stepped on my toes!"
I screamed, as Mr. Norman Mailer
casually
continued on his way.
I was about to start
ragging on Mailer
big-time,
when my friend said,
'Hey, look -- here comes
Judy Blume!'

I assumed a karate stance.

2 Comments:

Blogger Missy said...

Did you ever see Norman Mailer on the Gilmore Girls???

6:20 PM  
Blogger blackcrag said...

Well, that there is some fine nonsense, Dan. I don't think you could find better nonsense anywhere, and that's including the stuff coming from the campaigning politicians on both sides of the border.

11:11 PM  

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