Saturday, December 06, 2008

on the subject of dough

'You keep all your money in a big brown bag inside a zoo/what a thing to do!'
- The Beatles, 'Baby, You're a Rich Man'

'We work twice as hard to get/half as much/eternally in debt.'
- The Honeydogs, 'Test Tube Kid'

Well, first of all, in the next few days I'll be publishing what I've come to call 'The Cheese Post.' The Cheese Post has been percolating in my brain for the better part of two years. I've come close to writing it several times, but I've never quite pulled the trigger on it. The time just wasn't right. Now? I feel the time is right. So look for that soon. It's not going to change anyone's world, but it might come as close as I'll ever get to laying down some kind of personal philosophy. Or maybe it will help me understand what it is that drives me forward, which, to some extent, is money. Like it or not, all of us are on the clock. Not all of us want money, but all of us NEED money. We must have it!

Which brings me to my next subject: Money. I myself am quite conflicted when it comes to money. I mean, I like to think that I'm not entirely money-driven. That being said, I like money. One of my teachers in Graduate School (a lovely woman who's no longer with us, alas) noted that all of my short stories involved money. My characters either had too much money or, more often, not nearly enough of it. When she said that to me, I felt kind of busted. I thought to myself, 'Sure, all my stories are about money, but that's only because I'm completely obsessed with the stuff.' And that's not completely true, but I do feel like I should have more money than I do. I suppose all of us feel that way.

Anyway, my mad desire to have enough cash to fill a large bathtub several times over has gotten me into some fairly serious jams. Like that night several years ago when I was detained at the Canadian border with a fake moustache and a suitcase filled with bogus Canadian $5 bills. That was NOT my best get-rick-quick plan ever, though it's right up there near the top. What was I thinking? That moustache looked ridiculous over my goatee!

You know, you win some and you lose some. And sometimes you're lucky enough to get away with a hefty fine and be released on your own recognizance. I guess the main thing is not getting too hung up over money. And if you want to be rich, it's really not that hard to get that way. The first thing you do is start thinking like a rich person. The second thing you do is acquire a lot of money.

Could it be any simpler?


Blogger blackcrag said...

Life is like cheese. Sometimes it's savoury, sometimes it's spicy, and sometimes it just stinks!

Ooops! Did I just steal your cheese post?

The funny thing about money is those that don't have it, want it; those that do have it, want more. Me, I'm just looking for a little to stay in my bank account at the end of the month. That, and to swim in it like Scrooge McDuck!

11:23 PM  
Blogger Just Dan said...

Point taken, Crag. And, no, no theft has occurred. No one is going to see the cheese post coming.

As for swimming in money, that's exactly why I want enough cash to fill a large bath tub. There's relaxation and there's relaxation. Now, to be stretched out neck-deep in cash...that would be relaxing.

5:13 AM  

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