Guttenberg Bible (in which I swear -- twice)

I felt kind of bad about my post yesterday. Even as I typed it I was privately worried about coming off as somewhat elitist. Let me be the first to tell you, I am not an elitist prick. I don't have an elitist bone in my body! So to make up for that erroneous perception, I'm going to do this for you; I'm going to give you a very helpful tip.

Though you will never, never, never, never, NEVER find Club Lepidoptra, if you should somehow trip across it -- and clear all the many preliminary barriers and hurdles necessary to become a full-fledged member -- here's the last thing you have to do to become an official member in good standing.

When that day arrives and the barkeep approaches you and says, 'Excuse me, but have you seen the movie Cocoon?'

What you need to do is look him dead in the eye -- I mean, dead -- and say, 'Seen it? F-----, I've LIVED it!'

You did not hear that from me.