Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Anarchist Monthly

As many of you now know, our society is being besieged by anarchists. They're everywhere! Why just three days ago my wife and I were driving around Minneapolis and I said, 'Look, sweetheart, there's an anarchist wielding an implement of doom!' At that point she informed me it was simply the guy down our street mowing his lawn.

Then last night we were at a social function and I noticed someone rolling something very heavy -- and suspicious-looking -- into the distance. "Everyone get down!" I screamed, hitting the floor. "Real menace is afoot!" Well, no one joined me on the floor. And it turned out what I saw was just a bowling ball rolling peaceably enough down a well-lacquered lane.

Still, after reading the local papers (particularly columnist Katherine Kersten, who isn't a writer -- or at all sane -- but still somehow gets paid to write) I know that the streets of our nation our thick with anarchists. T-H-I-C-K.

Why, just the other day I was at a traffic light waiting for the light to turn green. Soon enough it did just that. However, right then the anarchist in front of me flipped on his left-turn signal. Enraged, I waited until all the cars in the right lane had passed me. Then I swung around him, rolled down my window and shouted, 'Goddam anarchist!! I want you to know that you and yours have totally ruined the small percentage of this country George W. Bush and his Godless ilk somehow haven't managed to ruin yet!!'

Anarchists. They're all alike.

2 Comments:

Blogger blackcrag said...

After eight years of scaremongering it's beginning to wear thin, isn't it?

Then again, a neighbour mowing his lawn while you're trying to have a Sunday sleep in probably is a plot against your peace and sanity.

3:18 PM  
Blogger Just Dan said...

It's worn all the way through, man.

Thankfully, that neighbor respected the laws of decency. No mowing before 9 a.m. C.S.T. 11:30 Newfoundland.

5:47 PM  

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