you can't keep a halfways decent man down

Bouncing right off the canyon floor, the old brain box fired back with yet another idea this morning. Picture the scene: You're in front of the stove. It's an early morning and you're transacting business on your cellular phone in front of your oven, making eggs while working your business casual mojo. Suddenly you realize those eggs need to be flipped -- and you don't have a spatula! (which should really be called a 'flipula.' Why it isn't called that, that I'll never know).

Hold the phone! Or, in this case, simply take it away from your ear and flip it open yet again to reveal the mini-flipula (that flips out from behind your mouthpiece) and smoothly flip those eggs over before they burn, or worse, get really hard and gross. Oh, and don't forget to keep talking, close the deal and get that sweet raise management has been dangling in front of you since last quarter. And when you're enjoying your perfect eggs, basking in the tasty glow of your sweet success, don't forget to thank the bald, bespectacled fellow that made it all possible -- that would be me.

I swear to God, I'm the Thomas Edison of bad ideas!