Sunday, December 14, 2008

track leaker

It occurred to me the other day that it's probably fortunate I'm not in a band. First, I can't play any instruments; I have no formal training as a musician. Second, I'm not a very good singer. I'm a passable mimic (meaning I can sing some songs the way I've heard other people sing those songs -- on their records), but I have no vocal style of my own. Not to speak of.

However, what concerns me most is the fact that I would undoubtedly be a track leaker, were I to be in a band. What I mean by that is, in this modern era, after recording a particularly groovy song I wouldn't have the patience to wait for our record to come out. On the contrary, I'd be on the web, leaking that track like air from a tire.

Behind me, in the recording studio, my mates would be congratulating themselves, saying, 'This song is going to change the world!' Meanwhile, I'd be online, posting the song free to all, muttering quietly, 'Yes it is, mates.'

Then they'd be like, "Hey, Dan, what are you doing over there on the computer?" And I'd be like, "Just finishing up an email to my Aunt Tilly. There we go, 'hugs and kisses to you and Wallace,' and...send! Alright, then, it's time to celebrate! Who's up for nachos?"

A few days later word that the track had been leaked would filter back to the boys and I'd have to feign some serious outrage. "Who could have done such a thing?" I would bluster. "Who would have?! This no laughing matter. This is deadly serious stuff!" Then I'd pound a clenched fist into the flat of my other hand. I might even kick the mixing board. Then I'd turn to the rest of the band and say, "Look. I'm not going to rest until I figure out who it was that leaked that track. I'm going to make it my mission in life -- you can count on that. And when I find him, well, my friends, it will not be pretty."

Then someone in the band would inevitably say, 'It was you, wasn't it?'

And I would say, "Yup. Yes, it was." And they would depart, leaving me alone in the recording studio.

Rock and roll is a lonely business.


Blogger Missy said...

You are too generous for Rock and Roll!

I have decided that maybe you should be on Facebook. I think you would enjoy the banter. I certainly would enjoy what you might have to offer to the banter.

8:30 AM  
Blogger Just Dan said...

Facebook, eh? Would I have to put my picture up? Or could I put a picture of someone handsome on my profile -- say Burt Reynolds?

3:56 PM  
Blogger Missy said...

Oh you could put up Burt Reynolds, sure.

7:57 AM  
Blogger Just Dan said...

Intriguing. In...triguing..

6:48 PM  
Blogger Missy said...

did you get the Burt Reynolds picture I sent you!?!?!?!?!?

2:02 PM  
Blogger Just Dan said...

I surely did, Missy. It's quite handsome!!

12:30 PM  

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